Dear J.P. the most beautiful soul I have known!
I am talking to you, the girl that has lost her smile among the selfish faces in the streets of Brooklyn. Time to look around. To look for that sparkle that you radiated when you believed that love was all you ever needed. Its truth, love is all you need except that I am referring to Self-Love not the one that depends on what other chose to offer you. You see, the only absolute truth of life is that you cannot force anyone to love you. If you were ever to rely on that belief, you will age still waiting for a little crumble of affection thrown your away but never getting all that you soul needs to bloom. Waiting in silence will crush your ambitions in life, your pillow will carry the scent of your salty tears, your dreams clouded with broken promises and suddenly the future doesnt seem like it carries any hope. Along the lines you question the existence of God. You wonder why life keeps smacking you in the face. You forget to acknowledge the blessing and the fact that real love flows effortless within yourself and it releases the very same energy to others. Stop worrying if you are Fat! Stop worrying if you not Beautiful. Stop questioning your worth. Stop being your own worse judge. Because my dear beautiful soul, a worthy person will love you to pieces no matter what you are shaped or made off. Thats what makes real love stand out from all the ordinary loves people experience in life. Some will love the shape of your ass, some the sparkle of your eyes, some the firmness of your breasts, but ONE, the very best ONE will LOVE YOU! All of YOU. Mostly because you are not perfect. Because you make mistakes and it makes him smile because he realizes that perfection doesnt exist and that he is suddenly need to guide, understand and accept. He would look at your worries face, touch the tip of your nose, squeeze it and kiss your face like its the first time he laid eyes on you. Today, instead of worrying where the roads of life will take you if you dont plan, just sit there on your window sill, smoke a cigarette, speak to the moon, and just breathe. Notice the silence of night showing you with the beauty of the stars. Lets the reflection dance around as if they were meant just for you. Let life be. Deliberately do nothing but JUST BE. In that magical moment tell yourself "I am OK"; tell yourself that you "Dont need anyone to complete you"; understand that you are already "Perfect & Complete". I know that sometimes it wont help and you might just want to scream or cry but than again why not do just that. Its OK to cry. Its OK to feel down. It NOT OK to stop progress doubting all that God, Stars, Universe, Life has in store for you. You forgot to love yourself! You spend the days, avoiding pain by marking your body with cuts. You spend the afternoon looking for escape from reality. You spend the evening wetting your pillows. Minutes, hours, days, spend waiting on HIM to notice the greatness within you. He didnt because you always tried to hard. You got taken for granted and another disappoint set in. Another day; Another month to look for another escape from pain. You spend your life loving without getting much in return and you keep letting that happen because you believe in the good. Your spirit is not broken yet, just a few cracks here and there. Time has come to grow in another level. I am talking to YOU! One sunny morning you will wake up, reaching to make that cup of coffee and you will crack up at the thought of what used to weight you down. You might even feel a bit ashamed for all the drama and sleepless nights, but so what.... You will walk again the streets of Brooklyn with that radiant smile that makes everyone turn their head, and sometimes a random backward guy will speak to you, but other times another charismatic will be appreciating the beauty he gets to see just by passing near YOU. You see another one will look at you twice, envision a life with you, give you a son who can run into your arms, because he is different. Because he is not a "happiness thief" like the others from the past. He is real. He cannot afford not to be near the miracle that YOU ARE. That is the one you give a chance. That one person that looks at you as the most beautiful thing he has laid eyes on. Tell him a story about you that will make him laugh like he never did and find himself under your spell. But most importantly, in your twenties do all the things you kept hidden in your heart. Walk up to stranger and tell them they are beautiful. Pick a flower and gift that to an old lady. Hold your mothers hands and walk in the park like when you were little. Hold the door for an old man walking the same store as you. Sit on your front door and love the trees that surround your environment. Invite people who never let you down at your home to share a pitcher of sangria & guacamole. Place your hand on top of the person you love the most and promise you will be the creator you were born to be. I Promise YOU...One day you will look back and all the small things you did will be the memories YOU CREATED and shaped you towards your greatness. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are outstanding. You are life. You are the greatest perfect imperfection. With Love, From Me!
2 Comments
Angel
5/21/2016 09:01:00 pm
Tears on my eyes. Having a daughter of my own, I will read this to her. Keep up the good work.
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Susan Mandell
5/29/2016 07:34:36 pm
Dear Eva,
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